something's not right

i've been feeling so strange lately... couldn't understand why... everything seems to messed up in my mind.one over another. how could you explain this feelings.. i couldn't express it anyhow... but, one thing for sure.. i kept thinking bout the same stuff over and over again. i thought i had passed it.but now, it kept appearing back in my mind. i couldn't stop it. i couldn't resist it. nowadays, the past and all the memories of it made me smile, it even torn me up in the heart. i tried to hate it. push it all away. but it kept coming back for more..again and again.. i had quite a "normal" life for sometime but now, its like.. idk... i know it all has past.. and past is past.. i didn't even asked for it.. more likely to say, i couldn't hate it no more, i realize, i never had hate it before... is it jealousy? NO!! its double no for jealousy.. its just something.. and i don't know what is it.. is it care? missing? no.no. i'll always have the denial for it. even, even its double way around i think.. is there's anything wrong for the past few days?? why do i fell so hard and stuffed in me?? OR, do i still have the same instinct for it like i used to before?? something's just not right