this day...

i've spend most of my time thinking of this..
this day..
i couldn't sleep, no appetite to eat for the past few days..
and finally it came at last. and its over... nothing special really happened, nothing unusual, nothing scary.. as what i used to thought.. its just one simple night.. spending just about one and a half hour.. yes..

its just that, its not as what i expected.. huh. relieved? yes.. but somehow.. i still felt that something is went missing. something is incomplete. more to say i'm sorry or maybe..just nothing.. i think i've gone too far, i've fall too deep inside the world of imagination, fiction, drama which i create with my own irrationally-thinking mind.

actually, there's nothing.. none of them was real.. i'm drowning in my own imagination..
hey, come on... it will never happen...

somehow, i felt embarrased with myself. how on earth i could think about that. hey, BLINK.
till when, i would live in this kind of life i'm having right now.

fine, straight to the point. i still love.. forget about the word "love".it doesn't bring any meaning anymore. i still care........ but for what??? what does it mean if ..

HEY!! COULD YOU PLEASE STOP THINKING OF THIS, PU3!!!! it doesn't worth anything.. doesn't.. how many times should i remind myself about this? NO! i should stop. i should stop!

i promise myself.. i would let myself out of this unclearness.. whatever happens.. just let it happen.. i'll accept it..whatever it would be.. whatever life will bring me..