absurd

shall I say, another story or another unexpressed feelings? any will do. I'm so glad that I somehow got over it. I'm not so sure what's the cause was. Is is the endless ticking of the clock that keeps working dedicated-ly wherever I go, or is it because the fond of someone that I suppose, maybe, had changed my point of view. Well, what happened to my mission and vision to keep the promise until the end of my life? Oh maybe the mission had become an idle for some time but now I suppose it has been applicable again. Talking bout the idle phase of my pretty normal, young, teenage life.. I like it. I enjoyed every moment. I felt so free and happy (despite the other dilemma that I faced regarding another problem). I seriously did not expect to be an idle for some time. maybe I was not being fully in 'idle', but anyhow, I appreciate those seconds in my life. In my own words, being in an idle is the phase where you fully did not really think about the problem or the subject that you were been giving all your energy, consumed your precious time, raping away all your happiness that you are supposed to enjoy in your life. I am really grateful for that. But the point is now, the idle moment almost disappear. Instead of giving up on one hard, killing subject, I created another. Which now I could say as an another dilemma for me. For the killing subject that almost killed me and caused me to suffocate like I could never imagined, I could say that I'm over it. Definitely, maybe. That happened because the existence of this new subject I started to learn 'living' with. I thought maybe its time for a change. But now, no. I was wrong. So I supposed that the time hasn't come yet. So, to end this very short, absurd, inapplicable and not understandable (by normal people like you), I would like to say..that's it.